Honey or Vinegar?

“You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,” American proverb.

Is it true that nice guys finish last? A friend and I were talking about the positive approach to dealing with daily life issues (i.e., curtain orders installed incorrectly, cell phone providers serving us improperly, banks changing fee structures and extra charges). Sometimes, it feels like being nice takes longer—not only from our perspective, but also in the delayed actions of others. Our world is so full of individuals losing their temper, making demands, and threatening negative consequences, that it really does seem like “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.”

Those of us who recognize that putting out that kind of negativity is only sowing the seeds of more negativity in the future are now facing a dilemma—how do we react and still get things accomplished? Experimentation and sharing ideas as we learn seems to be the only approach. If we reflect back on how we act when we are facing angry individuals making demands on us, we realize that these hot-tempered people may get quick results, but they aren’t always the best results. In fact, sometimes we withhold information and give them shortcut fixes. They are served the solution that will get them out the door in the fastest way possible. In contrast, consider how we feel when we are working with an individual who is patient and pleasant. We may take a bit longer to serve them, yet we also give them a little more. We might suggest a better solution, offer additional help, or provide greater services at no extra charge. That smile on our face is genuine, not rehearsed.

The holiday season is ripe with opportunities to better understand the best, and the worst, that human beings have to offer. It brings out the spirit of giving and inspires us to connect with family and friends. It also creates a sense of hurriedness, as we rush to decorate, purchase gifts, and participate in events. We have the free will to decide which ripple effect we choose to create. We can simplify and give ourselves the space to enjoy the true spirit of the season. When we are charitable to ourselves, we have more to give others. When we are rested, we can be patient. When we shorten our to-do list, we can savor treasured moments. It’s up to us—do we choose to experience honey or vinegar?

Hugs--tc