Honey or Vinegar?

“You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,” American proverb.

Is it true that nice guys finish last? A friend and I were talking about the positive approach to dealing with daily life issues (i.e., curtain orders installed incorrectly, cell phone providers serving us improperly, banks changing fee structures and extra charges). Sometimes, it feels like being nice takes longer—not only from our perspective, but also in the delayed actions of others. Our world is so full of individuals losing their temper, making demands, and threatening negative consequences, that it really does seem like “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.”

Those of us who recognize that putting out that kind of negativity is only sowing the seeds of more negativity in the future are now facing a dilemma—how do we react and still get things accomplished? Experimentation and sharing ideas as we learn seems to be the only approach. If we reflect back on how we act when we are facing angry individuals making demands on us, we realize that these hot-tempered people may get quick results, but they aren’t always the best results. In fact, sometimes we withhold information and give them shortcut fixes. They are served the solution that will get them out the door in the fastest way possible. In contrast, consider how we feel when we are working with an individual who is patient and pleasant. We may take a bit longer to serve them, yet we also give them a little more. We might suggest a better solution, offer additional help, or provide greater services at no extra charge. That smile on our face is genuine, not rehearsed.

The holiday season is ripe with opportunities to better understand the best, and the worst, that human beings have to offer. It brings out the spirit of giving and inspires us to connect with family and friends. It also creates a sense of hurriedness, as we rush to decorate, purchase gifts, and participate in events. We have the free will to decide which ripple effect we choose to create. We can simplify and give ourselves the space to enjoy the true spirit of the season. When we are charitable to ourselves, we have more to give others. When we are rested, we can be patient. When we shorten our to-do list, we can savor treasured moments. It’s up to us—do we choose to experience honey or vinegar?

Hugs--tc

Dispelling Negativity

“Negativity has within it the seeds of its own destruction,” Emmanuel’s Book, p. 86.

Have you ever noticed that people who put out a lot of negativity seem to have a lot of difficulty in their life? If we truly believe “We reap what we sow,” then it isn’t surprising that negative thoughts create additional hardship. Certainly, we don’t wish for others to live in difficult circumstances, yet the situation can be understood as an accumulation of many factors that amplify the negative side of life. It is cruel to say that individuals facing dark times want to live under dire circumstances. Each of us is seeking joy, freedom, and love. Hardship is another lesson in the schoolroom of life, it is not intended to imprison or suppress us.

How do we address negativity—by focusing on the negative or positive? Let’s look at abundance, for example. These harsh economic times have many of us feeling tight financially. When our thoughts are focused on what we lack (i.e., I don’t have money, I can’t buy this present, there’s never enough time to get everything done), then we attract more of what is missing into our life. When we focus on the present moment, and see what we have (i.e., all of my bills are paid right now, I accomplished this today, a simple joy came into my life today), then we attract more of these positive experiences. Our life truly becomes more fulfilling, and we feel better.

When we see negativity around us, we can protect ourselves with a shield of light to repel darkness away from us. We can imagine a spotlight from above shining on the individual(s) carrying the negativity. It’s important to be very careful –we do not feed the negativity. We can choose to be the source of additional negativity or the source of healing and light. We have the free will to decide how to act, react, and address negativity when it comes into our life. Our thoughts, actions, and beliefs create a ripple effect into the universe and come back to us in unexpected ways. Our inner power gains strength when we do not allow negativity to influence the seeds we sow each day, so that we contribute to the positive energy in the universe.

Hugs--tc

Seeing Violence in New Ways

Is it possible to see violence with greater clarity? Can we transform violence into light?

Remember, each of us is here to learn during our lifelong journey. Like children in a schoolroom, we are learning, we are learning, we are learning. Violence is created by unbalanced energy, discordant feelings, and limiting beliefs. Rather than serving as a punishment, it is an opportunity to make a free will choice…which will we choose to bring into our life-- negative or positive energy?

When we see things that are despicable, we are tempted to make accusations and judge others. At times, violence causes our gut to wrench and rattles our faith. What if we could see violence as a distortion of light? Before the light was filtered by limiting beliefs and false illusions that spiraled into violence, what did it look like in its original state? When we hold a deep faith and trust in the loving energy that connects each of use, we can see that violence is a form of speaking up, and affirming, strongly held beliefs. Beliefs that lead to violence may be distorted, yet there is courage in this effort to witness. Those involved in violence have distorted the universal light into a loud temper tantrum, like small children shouting, “I exist… this is important…look--and see ME!”. The volume of this negative energy can get amplified to the point that it seems as if the whole world is filled with negativity.

When we remain aware that violence is simply a distortion of the light, we can release any negativity within ourselves that may have consciously, or subconsciously, connected to violence in the universe. We focus on the protective light swirling around us to repel negative energies away from us. As we release any seeds of darkness within ourselves, we increase the light in our own heart. As we imagine light from above shining into dark areas, we create a ripple that expands out to bring light into negative energy. As we contribute to the shrinking of darkness, the light in the universe grows brighter. When we see violence as the light force it can be transformed into, we tap our inner power.

Hugs--tc

Seeing Darkness in New Ways

How do we put the darkness that exists in our world into perspective?

If we see the universe as filled with loving energy that unites all our hearts, then darkness is only a shadow. Each of us is here to learn during our lifelong journey. The darkness in and around us is created by blocked energy, forgetfulness, and our own limiting beliefs. It exists as an opportunity to learn, not as an effort to obstruct or suppress. Without the dualism of negative and positive energies, how can we learn to shed light on the negative while we remain focused on the positive?

It takes an initial leap of faith to trust that love and light surround our world. When we see evil, negativity, and darkness, we can remind ourselves that these are only shadows caused by forgetfulness of our spiritual connection to each other. We can imagine ourselves surrounded by a protective light that repels these negative energies away from us. We can imagine light from above shining into the dark areas, illuminating and shrinking the darkness. We can look within to tap the energy in our heart that is aware, but not lost in… or swept away by … ugly experiences. We can focus on expanding that light within to release any negative energy we have consciously, or subconsciously, absorbed. Amazingly, we will suddenly feel lighter. Try it! Test it out! It works!

Hugs--tc

The Virtuous Qualities of Happiness

The movie "Happy" illuminated how "happiness" really comes from within, regardless of money, appearance, and social expectations. Living life by the virtuous qualities of happiness--is this the key? If so, then “Creating Love and Joy: Uplifting affirmations to strengthen your spirit,” identifies 33 virtuous qualities and helps us to implement them in our life. :-) Hugs--tc

Magical Coincidences

Each day, events take place that shape and influence my life. When I intentionally create my day, little things happen that are the result of my creation. I call these “magical coincidences.” I choose to recognize these positive influences, as evidenced by these magical coincidences, and feel the joy that comes with my newly found insight. I permanently release and replace any discordant thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and actions that might arise with the pure loving energy that envelopes the universe. In this way, my efforts are much more than just a positive thinking veneer covering a mountain of negativity—I am creating new, healthy synapses in the brain. Each day I grow stronger, and more powerful, until my confidence in my ability to create all that I have and experience far exceeds any lingering doubts. Hugs--tc

Creating our Day

I am light protecting me from all harm. I choose to take this moment to create my day. I trust that all my thoughts, feelings, actions, and beliefs affect the quantum field, thereby creating all that I experience. I know the universe is full of limitless possibilities and magical coincidences. I choose to bring these into my life in a peaceful, fulfilling way so that I can joyfully recognize the positive influences that I am creating, and permanently release all doubt, fear, resentment, rage and judgment. I permanently replace my discordant thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and actions with the pure loving energy that envelopes the universe. Hugs--tc

Join me Mar. 12 at 12:30 - UofA Mall, Tucson Festival of Books

Please JOIN ME for this fun, FREE event!
WHAT: Presentation of Creating Love & Joy
Book signing after the presentation
Special event price: $15 (cash or checks only, please)
WHEN: Sat., March 12 at 12:30pm
WHERE: 2011 Tucson Festival of Books (TFOB)
The University of Arizona campus
UofA Alumni Authors Tent on the mall
FREEBIES: bookmarks & magnets – while they last!
Linda B. Lynn, one of the photographers for the book, plans to be there, too!
Enter the UA Alumni drawing to win skybox tickets for the UA vs. ASU football game, Nov. 19, 2011.
Did you know the TFOB is now rated the fourth-largest event of its kind??!! It is the biggest literary event in Arizona.
There’s something for everyone – games for kids, food, beverages, live music & dance, and presentations by many famous authors
Start planning now - visit the website for a detailed schedule:
http://www.tucsonfestivalofbooks.org/

Gratitude

Many thanks to Changing Hands bookstore for displaying “Creating Love and Joy” on the shelf marked “Recent Favorites”(4th shelf, second from the right.) My hope is that readers will see the eye-catching cover and buy the book as a gift for themselves or a friend. Did you know that Changing Hands was rated as the best bookstore in the country by Publisher’s Weekly? They regularly have well-known authors like SARK, Meadowlark Lemon, Valerie Bertinelli, and Apolo Ono in for book signings! Thank you, Changing Hands, for supporting “Indie” publishers! Hugs--tc

Acceptance, Enjoyment, Enthusiasm

I just finished reading Eckhart Tolle’s book, “A New Earth…,”and he says the three “…modalities of awakened doing are acceptance, enjoyment, and enthusiasm. Each one represents a certain vibrational frequency of consciousness (p. 295).” By staying centered in the present moment, and trusting that we are in the right place at the right time, successfully engaged in the right activity, we can ENJOY the holidays. It’s a treasured time with family and friends! Hugs--tc

Can positive affirmations backfire???!!

Creating Love & Joy is an inspirational gift book that offers life-enhancing affirmations. By simply raising our subconscious thoughts to a conscious awareness, and making mindful choices, each of us can create a fulfilling, joyful life.

In mid-October, this surprising post appeared on the “Positively Sunny” website stating that positive affirmations can backfire. It was not well received by their fans-- my thoughts follow their post (that is provided here, verbatim):

“Positive affirmations sound like sweetness and light, but be careful with them.
According to Dan Baker, positive psychologist and author of the books What Happy People Know and What Happy Women Know, says that affirmations can create a sense of entitlement. Remember Annette Bening's character in the movie "American Beauty" with her affirmation of "I will sell this house today!" These kinds of affirmations can set up expectations (a sure way to plan a forthcoming resentment).
Or how about Al Franken in his SNL career with the "...and gosh darn it, people like me!" These kinds of affirmations are plain silly and overblown. What if your affirmations demand that you win the lottery or lose 25 pounds this week? Aren't you just setting yourself up for failure? Dan told me about a study of public school kids who had low self-esteem. So after many years of positive affirmations and the like, these kids competed with students from other nations on a mathematics test. The US students came in dead last at 13 or 14. Out of 13 or 14 nations. But then the researchers asked how they felt about their ability to do mathematics, and the US kids came out number one in terms of how they ranked themselves.
The point is that the feeling and the capacity were incongruent.
The fact is that our efforts, our actions, our successes, and our achievements that build true self-esteem and a positive outlook. For today, stop affirming and start doing! – Positively Sunny (Facebook and website)”

As the author of a book of uplifting affirmations, my main point is that positive affirmations focus our thoughts and feelings so that we can tap our inner power and potential to match our capacity/ability to those thoughts and feelings. They provide the vitality needed to take action. Any sense of entitlement or judgments only serves to diminish the power of affirmations. Your intention is key—you can’t fool yourself about your own internal motivation! Your true intention will propel you toward your thoughts.

That’s why it is so important to write affirmations in the PRESENT and use the first person “I”. When your affirmations start with “I” and then a verb in the present tense, you have tapped your inner power. Ideally, you begin with “I am…” Our subconscious cannot distinguish reality from imagination. Positive affirmations activate all that we imagine, and our thoughts and beliefs bring experiences and situation.

Hugs--tc

Free from Fear

“As I free myself from fear, I know that I experience even more security, abundance, and fulfillment in my life Creating Love and Joy, p. 77).”

Halloween frights, and creativity in costumes, are all in fun. When fear stands in the way of something we’d like to accomplish, though, it becomes a roadblock on our journey. The key is our own willingness and courage to be aware of the fear that prevents us from moving forward. Once we acknowledge that fear exists, we can also remember that it is nothing more than a shadow in a lighted area. We can imagine bringing light to that area to dissipate the fear. The more we remember to do this, the more freedom we enjoy. Soon, the fear has disappeared completely, and we tap a renewed vitality as we continue to move forward on our unique path.

Hugs--tc

I am…Harmony

“I trust that I am creating all that I experience according to my highest harmony right now." Creating Love and Joy, p. 41)

The crisp coolness of Fall has arrived and the holiday season approaches. It’s so easy to think of all the things we need to DO that we sometimes forget to enjoy our current surroundings right NOW. When we trust that we are always in the right place, at the right time, according to what is best for us right now, we can replace the anxiety of the holiday season with childlike joy and wonder. Try it! You’ll discover a new energy and confidence that all is unfolding perfectly.

Hugs--tc