Creating Love & Joy is an inspirational gift book that offers life-enhancing affirmations. By simply raising our subconscious thoughts to a conscious awareness, and making mindful choices, each of us can create a fulfilling, joyful life.
In mid-October, this surprising post appeared on the “Positively Sunny” website stating that positive affirmations can backfire. It was not well received by their fans-- my thoughts follow their post (that is provided here, verbatim):
“Positive affirmations sound like sweetness and light, but be careful with them.
According to Dan Baker, positive psychologist and author of the books What Happy People Know and What Happy Women Know, says that affirmations can create a sense of entitlement. Remember Annette Bening's character in the movie "American Beauty" with her affirmation of "I will sell this house today!" These kinds of affirmations can set up expectations (a sure way to plan a forthcoming resentment).
Or how about Al Franken in his SNL career with the "...and gosh darn it, people like me!" These kinds of affirmations are plain silly and overblown. What if your affirmations demand that you win the lottery or lose 25 pounds this week? Aren't you just setting yourself up for failure? Dan told me about a study of public school kids who had low self-esteem. So after many years of positive affirmations and the like, these kids competed with students from other nations on a mathematics test. The US students came in dead last at 13 or 14. Out of 13 or 14 nations. But then the researchers asked how they felt about their ability to do mathematics, and the US kids came out number one in terms of how they ranked themselves.
The point is that the feeling and the capacity were incongruent.
The fact is that our efforts, our actions, our successes, and our achievements that build true self-esteem and a positive outlook. For today, stop affirming and start doing! – Positively Sunny (Facebook and website)”
As the author of a book of uplifting affirmations, my main point is that positive affirmations focus our thoughts and feelings so that we can tap our inner power and potential to match our capacity/ability to those thoughts and feelings. They provide the vitality needed to take action. Any sense of entitlement or judgments only serves to diminish the power of affirmations. Your intention is key—you can’t fool yourself about your own internal motivation! Your true intention will propel you toward your thoughts.
That’s why it is so important to write affirmations in the PRESENT and use the first person “I”. When your affirmations start with “I” and then a verb in the present tense, you have tapped your inner power. Ideally, you begin with “I am…” Our subconscious cannot distinguish reality from imagination. Positive affirmations activate all that we imagine, and our thoughts and beliefs bring experiences and situation.
Hugs--tc
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