Can positive affirmations backfire???!!

Creating Love & Joy is an inspirational gift book that offers life-enhancing affirmations. By simply raising our subconscious thoughts to a conscious awareness, and making mindful choices, each of us can create a fulfilling, joyful life.

In mid-October, this surprising post appeared on the “Positively Sunny” website stating that positive affirmations can backfire. It was not well received by their fans-- my thoughts follow their post (that is provided here, verbatim):

“Positive affirmations sound like sweetness and light, but be careful with them.
According to Dan Baker, positive psychologist and author of the books What Happy People Know and What Happy Women Know, says that affirmations can create a sense of entitlement. Remember Annette Bening's character in the movie "American Beauty" with her affirmation of "I will sell this house today!" These kinds of affirmations can set up expectations (a sure way to plan a forthcoming resentment).
Or how about Al Franken in his SNL career with the "...and gosh darn it, people like me!" These kinds of affirmations are plain silly and overblown. What if your affirmations demand that you win the lottery or lose 25 pounds this week? Aren't you just setting yourself up for failure? Dan told me about a study of public school kids who had low self-esteem. So after many years of positive affirmations and the like, these kids competed with students from other nations on a mathematics test. The US students came in dead last at 13 or 14. Out of 13 or 14 nations. But then the researchers asked how they felt about their ability to do mathematics, and the US kids came out number one in terms of how they ranked themselves.
The point is that the feeling and the capacity were incongruent.
The fact is that our efforts, our actions, our successes, and our achievements that build true self-esteem and a positive outlook. For today, stop affirming and start doing! – Positively Sunny (Facebook and website)”

As the author of a book of uplifting affirmations, my main point is that positive affirmations focus our thoughts and feelings so that we can tap our inner power and potential to match our capacity/ability to those thoughts and feelings. They provide the vitality needed to take action. Any sense of entitlement or judgments only serves to diminish the power of affirmations. Your intention is key—you can’t fool yourself about your own internal motivation! Your true intention will propel you toward your thoughts.

That’s why it is so important to write affirmations in the PRESENT and use the first person “I”. When your affirmations start with “I” and then a verb in the present tense, you have tapped your inner power. Ideally, you begin with “I am…” Our subconscious cannot distinguish reality from imagination. Positive affirmations activate all that we imagine, and our thoughts and beliefs bring experiences and situation.

Hugs--tc

Free from Fear

“As I free myself from fear, I know that I experience even more security, abundance, and fulfillment in my life Creating Love and Joy, p. 77).”

Halloween frights, and creativity in costumes, are all in fun. When fear stands in the way of something we’d like to accomplish, though, it becomes a roadblock on our journey. The key is our own willingness and courage to be aware of the fear that prevents us from moving forward. Once we acknowledge that fear exists, we can also remember that it is nothing more than a shadow in a lighted area. We can imagine bringing light to that area to dissipate the fear. The more we remember to do this, the more freedom we enjoy. Soon, the fear has disappeared completely, and we tap a renewed vitality as we continue to move forward on our unique path.

Hugs--tc

I am…Harmony

“I trust that I am creating all that I experience according to my highest harmony right now." Creating Love and Joy, p. 41)

The crisp coolness of Fall has arrived and the holiday season approaches. It’s so easy to think of all the things we need to DO that we sometimes forget to enjoy our current surroundings right NOW. When we trust that we are always in the right place, at the right time, according to what is best for us right now, we can replace the anxiety of the holiday season with childlike joy and wonder. Try it! You’ll discover a new energy and confidence that all is unfolding perfectly.

Hugs--tc

Cleansing and Renewal

Isn’t it wonderful how the rain brings a fresh inspiration that makes it seem like all is cleansed and renewed? In Tucson, we had a nice monsoon today. It was about 1/12th of our total annual 12 inches of rain. The desert smells bright, the creosote strikes the senses with it’s wonderful freshness, and the lightening adds drama to the possibility of a new beginning. The earth has its own way of renewing and refreshing itself.

What do we have? We have our own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. In Japan, many believe that reorganizing a drawer is symbolic of reorganizing certain aspects of life. I like this analogy. As I clean house or straighten up or put things away that I didn’t know I had room for…I think about the possibility that I’m also straightening up unfinished business, putting things away that it’s time to let go of, and finding strength that I didn’t know I had. It’s a joy to discover inner and outer strength. The delight of life, and the gift it brings, is around us each day…when we are willing to see it.

Hugs--tc

Finding peace during hectic times...

Start of school, election primaries, and last-minute vacations—it’s a hectic time of year! Several friends have mentioned they temporarily “lost their center” while busily flitting from one thing to the next. It’s a joy to know that many pulled out the “Creating Love and Joy” book to read each day—and it has helped! There’s something magically inspiring about the verses and photos.

When we are truly present in our current state, we recognize when we are tired, impatient and short-tempered. Celebrate this recognition! Our awareness is already neutralizing the negative effects of these temporary states. We can then choose to take whatever steps help us the most to regain our perspective and stay focused on the gifts that each day brings.

Hugs--tc