Can positive affirmations backfire???!!

Creating Love & Joy is an inspirational gift book that offers life-enhancing affirmations. By simply raising our subconscious thoughts to a conscious awareness, and making mindful choices, each of us can create a fulfilling, joyful life.

In mid-October, this surprising post appeared on the “Positively Sunny” website stating that positive affirmations can backfire. It was not well received by their fans-- my thoughts follow their post (that is provided here, verbatim):

“Positive affirmations sound like sweetness and light, but be careful with them.
According to Dan Baker, positive psychologist and author of the books What Happy People Know and What Happy Women Know, says that affirmations can create a sense of entitlement. Remember Annette Bening's character in the movie "American Beauty" with her affirmation of "I will sell this house today!" These kinds of affirmations can set up expectations (a sure way to plan a forthcoming resentment).
Or how about Al Franken in his SNL career with the "...and gosh darn it, people like me!" These kinds of affirmations are plain silly and overblown. What if your affirmations demand that you win the lottery or lose 25 pounds this week? Aren't you just setting yourself up for failure? Dan told me about a study of public school kids who had low self-esteem. So after many years of positive affirmations and the like, these kids competed with students from other nations on a mathematics test. The US students came in dead last at 13 or 14. Out of 13 or 14 nations. But then the researchers asked how they felt about their ability to do mathematics, and the US kids came out number one in terms of how they ranked themselves.
The point is that the feeling and the capacity were incongruent.
The fact is that our efforts, our actions, our successes, and our achievements that build true self-esteem and a positive outlook. For today, stop affirming and start doing! – Positively Sunny (Facebook and website)”

As the author of a book of uplifting affirmations, my main point is that positive affirmations focus our thoughts and feelings so that we can tap our inner power and potential to match our capacity/ability to those thoughts and feelings. They provide the vitality needed to take action. Any sense of entitlement or judgments only serves to diminish the power of affirmations. Your intention is key—you can’t fool yourself about your own internal motivation! Your true intention will propel you toward your thoughts.

That’s why it is so important to write affirmations in the PRESENT and use the first person “I”. When your affirmations start with “I” and then a verb in the present tense, you have tapped your inner power. Ideally, you begin with “I am…” Our subconscious cannot distinguish reality from imagination. Positive affirmations activate all that we imagine, and our thoughts and beliefs bring experiences and situation.

Hugs--tc

Free from Fear

“As I free myself from fear, I know that I experience even more security, abundance, and fulfillment in my life Creating Love and Joy, p. 77).”

Halloween frights, and creativity in costumes, are all in fun. When fear stands in the way of something we’d like to accomplish, though, it becomes a roadblock on our journey. The key is our own willingness and courage to be aware of the fear that prevents us from moving forward. Once we acknowledge that fear exists, we can also remember that it is nothing more than a shadow in a lighted area. We can imagine bringing light to that area to dissipate the fear. The more we remember to do this, the more freedom we enjoy. Soon, the fear has disappeared completely, and we tap a renewed vitality as we continue to move forward on our unique path.

Hugs--tc

I am…Harmony

“I trust that I am creating all that I experience according to my highest harmony right now." Creating Love and Joy, p. 41)

The crisp coolness of Fall has arrived and the holiday season approaches. It’s so easy to think of all the things we need to DO that we sometimes forget to enjoy our current surroundings right NOW. When we trust that we are always in the right place, at the right time, according to what is best for us right now, we can replace the anxiety of the holiday season with childlike joy and wonder. Try it! You’ll discover a new energy and confidence that all is unfolding perfectly.

Hugs--tc

Cleansing and Renewal

Isn’t it wonderful how the rain brings a fresh inspiration that makes it seem like all is cleansed and renewed? In Tucson, we had a nice monsoon today. It was about 1/12th of our total annual 12 inches of rain. The desert smells bright, the creosote strikes the senses with it’s wonderful freshness, and the lightening adds drama to the possibility of a new beginning. The earth has its own way of renewing and refreshing itself.

What do we have? We have our own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. In Japan, many believe that reorganizing a drawer is symbolic of reorganizing certain aspects of life. I like this analogy. As I clean house or straighten up or put things away that I didn’t know I had room for…I think about the possibility that I’m also straightening up unfinished business, putting things away that it’s time to let go of, and finding strength that I didn’t know I had. It’s a joy to discover inner and outer strength. The delight of life, and the gift it brings, is around us each day…when we are willing to see it.

Hugs--tc

Finding peace during hectic times...

Start of school, election primaries, and last-minute vacations—it’s a hectic time of year! Several friends have mentioned they temporarily “lost their center” while busily flitting from one thing to the next. It’s a joy to know that many pulled out the “Creating Love and Joy” book to read each day—and it has helped! There’s something magically inspiring about the verses and photos.

When we are truly present in our current state, we recognize when we are tired, impatient and short-tempered. Celebrate this recognition! Our awareness is already neutralizing the negative effects of these temporary states. We can then choose to take whatever steps help us the most to regain our perspective and stay focused on the gifts that each day brings.

Hugs--tc

What goes around, comes around ...

We reap what we sow (Creating Love and Joy, inside front cover).”

When we truly believe that “what goes around, comes around,” we begin to pay more attention to our own thoughts, actions, and feelings. We realize our thoughts and actions have a ripple effect. Like the water rings that form when a stone is tossed into a lake, our thoughts, actions, and feelings form concentric rings around us, creating all that we have, do, think, feel, and experience. In today’s world of distractions, noise, demands, and pressures, our challenge is to remain focused on this particular moment so that we can continuously create from a place of calm, wisdom, and intuition. Instead of rushing from one thing to the next, without really focusing on the moment, we slow down and pay attention to the task at hand. We begin to accomplish the same things in a different way.

Slowing down does not mean we get less done. Many times, we actually get more accomplished when we fully concentrate. When we are “multi-tasking,” our thoughts are flitting back and forth very rapidly from one thing to the next. The conscious mind does not focus on two things at once: it only focuses on one, and then switches to the next. The amount of attention we give to each task is actually less than what it might be if we concentrate on one thing at a time. (Stack, LM. 2003. “Multi-taking is counterproductive: shifting mental gears downshifts productivity.” Celebrations Presentations: TheProductivityPro.com.)

For this reason, we are better off starting and completing one task at a time. We may not finish the entire project, but we can complete more on that project when we concentrate our efforts. This also gives us a change to ensure that the ripple effect caused by our thoughts, feelings, and actions remains calm and peaceful. When we put harmonious energy out into the universe, harmonious energy comes back to us.

Hugs--tc

Matadors or Bulls?

“I am light protecting me from all harm (Creating Love and Joy, p. 78).”

Before getting too far into the analogy between bullfighting and life working in US organizations, it’s important to review and clarify what we mean by “bullfights” in this context. First and foremost, let’s make it clear we are referring to the Portuguese style of bullfighting, where the bull is not killed. Our goal is to PREVENT or remove all physical or emotional violence from the workplace. We do this by are exploring ways to remove negative issues/policies/processes/approaches from the work environement. Second, note that we use terms fluidly--bull refers to a person and the crap that can be produced--and it is possible to switch roles. Managers can be both matadors and bulls. Employees can be matadors and bulls, too. Both require focus, courage, self-evaluation, and dedication to fulfill a positive role in eliminating negative issues/policies/processes/approaches, or “bull,” from the workplace. Third, the bullring is analogous to the hostile, hectic, unhealthy work environment found in many organizations. The spectators are our coworkers and investors. They watch our every move and make decisions about what course of action they will take based on how they interpret what they see. In all cases, the goal of bullfighting is to create healthy work environments that support constructive relationships.

Stay tuned for more…about “Bullfighting at Work.” Hugs--tc

Freedom from Negative Emotions

“I am light protecting me from all harm (Creating Love and Joy, p. 78).”

Anger depletes energy.
Guilt is the most useless energy in the universe.
Fear creates the illusion that we have no options for positive growth.
Judgment of others soon becomes hatred and efforts to control.

Stay focused only on your own life.
Trust others to be masters of their own lives.
You cannot control others, you can only control yourself.
Allow yourself the freedom to focus only on yourself and your own journey.

Hugs--tc